In the Shower?
21 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Pregnancy Tags: cheating husbands, masturbation, pornography, pregnancy
Apart from scheduling our anatomy scan for later this week (which is super exciting), Monday marked another mostly uneventful doctor’s appointment. After the appointment, Lacy called her mom to update her on the appointment and upcoming anatomy scan. Eventually, the conversation turned from doctor’s appointments to pregnant women online complaining about their husbands cheating on them. The biggest complain from these women, so I’m told, isn’t the cheating, but that it’s happening so soon. The idea of cheating on your pregnant wife is an odd one. It shows how little these men really care about their so-called loved ones, but that’s a topic for another time. My mother-in-law’s response to this concern went something like this, “Well, it’s just because they can’t go without that pussy!” I think that was the first time—in the nearly nine years that Lacy and I have been together—that I’ve heard that woman use that word, but nothing could have prepared me for what came next.
“It Looks Like a Koala Bear! Cute!”
03 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Pregnancy, Ultrasound Tags: koala, pregnancy, ultrasound
Koala baby?
A couple of weeks ago, the wife and I made the trek to the hospital to get our first ultrasound. We were both nervous and excited as we waited to see if our baby was both alive and well. Once in the ultrasound room, Lacy took her place on the table and the ultrasound tech applied the bluish-clear gel on the lower part of her belly. We waited with bated breath for good, great, or terrible news. As the tech worked her magic, I could barely see the image of our unborn child on the small screen that was facing away from Lacy’s curious eyes. The tech assured us everything was fine and when she played the baby’s heartbeat, I saw tears well up in Lacy’s eyes. The swooshing sound of the little child’s heartbeat was not only reassuring, but a beautiful magical sound I could listen to endlessly. More
I Need a Milkshake!
20 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in Pregnancy Tags: milkshake, pregnancy
On Thursday night my wife texted me at work stating that she was craving a milkshake. The nearest milkshake available in the middle of the night is about 16 miles away from our house. In an act of desperation she texted her brother, Nathan, to ask him to bring her a milkshake. Nathan lives about 12 miles from the nearest late night milkshake, however, he’s north of the milkshake and we are south of it, which makes him about 25 miles from us. It was hovering around 30 degrees that night, that, paired with travel time, the fact it was late at night, meant that Lacy wasn’t getting her milkshake.
Cue the hormones. Which led to Lacy crying and texting me about her troubles. I assured her that I would bring her home a milkshake after work. So, in the wee hours of the morning, Lacy had her mint chocolate chip milkshake, rushed home straight from Steak ‘n Shake. This pleased Lacy, and I was the hero, at least for the moment.
The next day at work, I received a screen cap from Lacy of a conversation she had with her brother. It boiled down to her asking him to bring out materials for making milkshakes so they could have shakes and watch Harry Potter movies. He responded that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to come out, Lacy responded (as any pregnant big sister would) by telling him to not be a dick, and get his ass out there. Their mother must have been in on it, because his response indicated that their mom had started watching one of the Twilight movies and he’d be over in a few, cause he needed to get out of the house as soon as possible.
After reading this, I texted Nate and let him know that there was beer in the fridge if he needed it.
Lacy texted and said she got her milkshake and cried during Harry Potter.
When I got home, there was no more beer in the fridge.
Ouch, My Tits!
20 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in Pregnancy Tags: breasts, pregnancy, sleep
The other night, while we were both in bed asleep, Lacy awoke to find that her breast felt as though they were on fire. She woke me and told me that her breasts hurt and felt like they were on fire. I, apparently, sleepily replied, “What do I need to do?” To which she said, “Nothing, it just hurts.”
Lacy later told me that I then patted her on the head and simply replied, “Oh.” Then rolled over and went back to sleep.
Right Now! But Not Now.
20 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in Pregnancy Tags: dog, pregnancy, sleep
A couple of weeks ago my brother-in-law, Nathan, stayed over at our place after a night of watching movies. The following day, we milled around the house, ordered breakfast from the local diner, then decided to watch Love Actually, a romantic comedy from 2003 considered a rom-com for people who hate rom-coms. After the film, while watching TV, Lacy jumps up and exclaims, “We need to leave RIGHT NOW to get dog food for Willy before the store closes!” Nathan and I give each other a glance as Lacy bolts up from the couch and grabs her phone to ask her mom what time the store closes. Willy indeed needed dog food (dry food, she had plenty of wet food left), but Lacy’s sudden urgency caught me off guard.
While on the phone, Lacy entered the bedroom. Nathan and I finish an episode on TV, then followed it with an episode of The Heart, She Holler. Lacy had still not returned from the bedroom. I checked in on Lacy and found her asleep on the bed with her phone next to her, her head was at the foot of the bed and while her feet rested on the pillows.
We didn’t make it to the store on time.
I later learned that her dad had answered the phone and after talking with him, she texted her mom, and fell asleep waiting for her response.
